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As forced as it sounds when you read it, many of us love hearing dirty talk in the bedroom.

We lose ourselves in the heat of passion and take on a persona that turns us on in the most naughty, unconventional ways. What is it about erotic communication that increases our sexual arousal?

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Verbalizing the sexual roles we want and hearing what our partners want to do to us is essential in sexual arousal. Ava Cadell, professional speaker, writer, and sex therapist in Los Angeles, Calif., couples engage in dirty talk to “heighten their arousal and share fantasies that they may not want to turn into reality, but talking about them can be even better.”Committing sexual acts and talking dirty involve two completely different mindsets.

Dirty talk is something we do by ourselves, as opposed to physical sex acts.

A larger hypothalamus for men means more circulating testosterone to stimulate the desire for sex.

A lower testosterone level and a smaller hypothalamus in women, on the other hand, means their sex drive is not as strong as a man’s.

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The whispers, moans, and screams accompanied by dirty talk are all processed by the brain’s hearing center, including the temporal lobe, the frontal lobe, and the occipital lobe. The brain and how it organizes the rest of our erogenous zones is further proof of the crucial role of the brain in determining both sex drive and sexual pleasure.

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